Heat

My pulse is beating rapidly

beads of sweat form on my brow.

my shirt - untucked.

I pick a steel glass of ice water,

and pour it down my shirt.

the water flows down my body,

numbing each part it touches.

I turn up my I tunes player,

a glass of chilled white wine in hand,

I close my eyes,

and let my mind wander,

into a world of unimaginable peace,

free from the world's worries,

free from emotional pain,

free from the unmanageable heat,

and best of all,

free from the workings of my restless mind...

I hear the sound of thunder.

It wakes me.

Time to put on some Rob Thomas and enjoy the rain...

Bernada Alba

I picked up jazz ballet dancing 2 months ago. Just thought I'd get creative and do something totally out of my comfort zone.

I've always loved performing arts, but never really went down the dance route. I would take vocal training classes, write, direct plays & musicals and act. However I never really got into dance. Don't really know why either. I think for some reason, my mind told itself that my body isn't capable of being that flexible.

When I think dance, I think ballet. I think Swanlake, the Nutcracker, the Russians. Then later I start thinking of tap and folk dance, like Riverdance, Cats, Michael Flately-Lord of the Dance. All these dances, when watched, seem like they require so much talent. I put on a dance flick like Shall we dance (my favourite), Save the last dance, and Step Up and I honestly used to believe that those dances are only for people in love (I know, pretty cheesy).

I appreciate dance quite a bit. I love chic flicks, but not as much as a dance chic flick. I could watch ballet alone and not mind that I had no company to watch it with. I watch jazz dancing and feel like twirling around. Yet, I never got into it.

So 2 months ago, I decided I'd learn a dance. So I randomly picked Jazz Ballet. To tell you the truth, I only picked that style up because I saw the word 'CATS' in its description. For those of you who are unaware, I have this goal of being in the next production of cats. I'm learning all the dance moves from Cats and then am going to write to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and tell him I did so, all this to be in the next production. Off course, I already know all the vocals by heart.

What is jazz ballet?

It is a form of choreography which contains revolutionized ballet styles and movements usually employed for performance purposes. The dances you see in Cats and Chicago, that sorta thing...

Turns out dance has really been working for me. It really makes me relax, and when I'm on the dance floor - I feel like there isn't anyone left in the world but me and my dancing shoes.

I am totally in love with dancing. I'm even more excited as next week, a very good friend of mine, Ashvina Marie will be starring in this spanish musical called 'Bernada Alba'. It involves a lot of flamenco style dancing. Extremely excited. I am this excited not just because it involves dancing but mostly because Ash is in it. It's been a dream for me to see her in a musical in a large and reputable production. My dream is coming true. She is amazing!

Those of you in Malaysia, go watch Bernada Alba.

It's playing in KLPAC next week onwards.

xoxo

Small feet

My feet must have shrunk.

My shoes have miraculously gotten bigger,

the same shoe I bought and fit perfectly just 2 weeks ago.

I always had small feet,

not that I mind off course.

(best size- always available in sales)

It is however worrying me;

that my shoes are getting larger,

or my feet is getting smaller.

I can't decide which one it is.

but I am content with my small feet...

Benefit of the doubt

I got to a point in my life, where I simply can't trust anyone. Definitely influence of being in the legal field.

Golden rule: you CANNOT trust anyone.

Clients tell lawyers their version of the story everyday and the famous line "you can trust me" is used so loosely. In fact this is just an addition to the common misconception that lawyers are liars.Then in court, almost certainly new evidence reveals itself. You then discover the client that you trusted 110% in fact only told you 10% of the REAL story.

Doctors, engineers, teachers, drivers and many others all face this blatant truth.

This isn't just with professional relationships.

You can't trust anyone with anything,

not friends, best friends, lovers, spouses, parents, siblings,

not even priests (don't forget they too are human)

not 100%, not even 80%,

Trust places expectations on something or someone.

Trust raises expectations on something or someone.

You can go on with life telling everybody you trust them,

only to realize the husband who vowed to love you forever, has fallen out of love with you.

only to realize the father you thought was loyal and kind, was in fact screwing your neighbours maid.

only to realize the boyfriend you thought was the one, never felt the same.

only to realize the friends you have, have been back stabbing you.

Trust raises unnecessary expectations. It does no good. All it does is it keeps you in this state of happiness for a short period of time, and when the truth sinks in, it hurts.

When someone says "I trust you", don't get your hopes up. They simply mean they give you the benefit of the doubt.

friends, best friends, parents, siblings, cousins, lovers.

please do not be offended:

I simply don't believe in trust anymore.

It's too much to carry and when it breaks (and it always does)

it hurts bad...

I love you all, not because I don't trust you'll.

I love you all because I simply give you'll the benefit of the doubt that you wont hurt me like I've been hurt before.

So this is my theory :

trust is unnecessary, so don't trust. just give people the benefit of the doubt....

It's been working for me. Also a great way to manage a bad temper.

Take it from a taurus...

toodles!

Under a tuscan sky

"they say they built the train tracks between vienna and venice before there was a train that could make the trip. they built it anyway, they knew one day the train would come."

taken from under a tuscan sun...

a quote thats fit for the new look of this page.

more to come readers...

xoxo

I love...

I love walking through an avenue with trees that let their hands hold each other.

I love the tulips that sit in the beer bottles, they sit by my window.

I love that you love my room.

I love the feeling of the minute before an exam is over.

I love the sound of a classical guitar with French strings.

So tensed, yet so exciting,

Just like the moments I spend with you.

I love doodling on coffee house napkins, leaving my mark behind.

I love chocolates that have a face that smile, they just make me smile.

I love daisies, they are the happiest flowers in the world,

smiling because there is just so much to smile about when there is you.

I love dressing in a suit, putting my hair into a bun.

It puts me in character.

I love that I need my berries and yoghurt in the morning,

and that you always have them at yours.

I love dreaming about things I want to do,

and talking about how they are going to come true,

and I love that you love to dream too.

I love being in photos,

and dressing to make a memory,

especially when they are taken and made by you.

I love listening to a song,

which you know the lyrics to.

And I love it when you try to sing,

you make me want to sing too.

I love reading quotes from people with interesting thoughts.

and I love to quote them in conversations.

I also love that you love to do this too.

I love that I love everything about being with you,

simply because I do.

Into You

I like it when the stars fall
into my eyes
when I gaze at them.

I like it when the waves flow
into my ears
when I listen to them.

I like it when a flower blooms
its scent rubs on my nose
when I smell them.

I like it when a strawberry crushes,
squeezing the taste onto my toungue
as I taste them.

I like it when you look at me,
you look into my eyes,
and you see my soul.

I like it when you touch me,
you touch every bit of me,
leaving me only wanting more...

I like it.