Thursday, November 03, 2005

To whom it may concern

To whom it may concern

This may seem like a hindi movie to some, a boring lecture to another and to whom it concerns, its the literal truth.

When a boy and girl from two totally different backgrounds unite, there is bound to be trouble in paradise. Many of us believe, that this should not possibly happen if it is true love. In reality, this will happen whether you come from the same background or not. People never seem supportive of a relationship when all they see is the relationship hurt you.

You cant force someone to support you, before you realise the kind of support you need. It is definately not, "oh well done, you found a great guy!". If you want this sort of support, id suggest see an aquaintance whom is a hopeless romantic.

For a relationship like this to survive, there is only one thing to do and that is hold on to each other through thick or thin. What people say should not matter to you, nor effect you. You want to call it love, then dont misuse the word and understand it first.

You criticise the fact that when things are at the worst for you, that your friends and your close ones are not there for you. Here is the truth(although I know it sounds harsh), if we are not there for you we would not be telling you to get a reality check. True friends tell you the absolute truth without adding any spice to it. Do you prefer someone poise as a friend and tell you what a great couple you guys make?

Almost everyday now, I watch you weep and beg him to stay with you, or that he hurt you. How the hell do you expect anyone to react positively to that. It looks like your going to be in a nut house soon for a severe case of depression. You dont talk to anyone about him, you only talk when you guys hit rock bottom, how exactlly are we supposed to way the good side of things? guess? If you really need my support, you wuld think about the position you are in now. Does this relationship make you hurt more than it makes you happy? If it makes you happy, then why do I still see you weep everyday? Is it because you think you are happy? Is it because your friends do not support you?

My dear, are you the same girl I know who calls herself a good christian? the one that insist we head to church every sunday, and spend enough time with God? Yet why is it that right now, you fail to turn to God ? Instead take the easy way out and mock your friends when they ask you to think about your future. You say it hurts that we dont seem to support you, my dear, if you cant think of there being a future, there isnt much hope for you really(sorry to say).

"Begin with the end in mind- 2nd habit"
- from Sean Coveys 7 habits of highly effective people

You do not need anybodys support neither do you have to prove it to anyone if you really love this guy from your own free will. The only support you should seek is God's. Place our relationship into God's hands and he will take care of it. God loves you and has a plan for you.

"God is love"
- 1 John 4:16

Its been almost two years now for this couple I know extremely well, and it may seem like it is going well. Yes, it is going well, not because they come from similar backgrounds but because they trust and hold on to each other. Life has not been a bed of roses for them. People only want to see them fail in life, his friends think she is a fraud, his parents use to doubt their existance, and her parents had no clue about the relationship. Yet, time eased everything. Just hold on to each other and time will make things better. It has for them, and they thank God everyday for that, because He was the only person who was there for them when the ground shook, and he held them firm in his loving arms, he never let go.

It hurt me to know, that when I tell you the truth, you see it as I dont support you. Fact is if I did not support you, I would not bother wasting my time trying to get you a reality check. You think all your weeping has not worried me? If I dont say anything, its because im afraid ill say the wrong thing.

Think about it! I have not seen you laugh or smile sincerely in more than a month now. You think it does not hurt me to see you like this? It not only hurts me, but the people around you too who have hardly a clue on whats going on.

True love is a sacrifice, but it is not a sacrifice of ones happiness. My dear, are you really happy? If you really are, then im happy for you too. I cant promise to give you the ultimate support you dream off but I can surely try.

First talk to me, only then judge what I have to say.

Truth remains, you do not need anyone to support you. You just need him to trust you and hold on to you strong. Lift this relationship into God's hands, and let him help you. God will give you peace.

As for you, (fella thats in this with her). Ever watched the movie "guess who?" A white guy wants to marry a black girl. People say lots of things about them, but they only trusted each other and held on to each other. A strong advice given from the girls father to the boy is, if your really love her and want her, then she is right! She is right! Face the music, and dance to its beat.

p/s: I aint no psychologist, nor am I a marriage counsler. I only speak from my point of view. If you beg to differ, feel free to comment and share it with us.

So stop whining, and start thinking of what I have to say.