Monday, May 30, 2005

I stab like a serial killer

I stab like a serial killer

I hurt someone.

I hurt a couple of them.

It wasnt supposed to be this way...

I know I am in the grave wrong,

yet I know even if it did not turn out the way it did,
It was his plan...

Sometimes there is too much on my mind,
and I stab...

My stab is like one of a serial killer,
it leaves behind a trademark,
that is so difficult to wash away...

Yet I stabbed him...

I stabbed her...

and now it is as if I have stabbed myself,
in hurt and pain...

Does a serial killer feel the pain of the one he stabs?

My stab lingers in the night,
and rest itself upon the heart,
almost forever...

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Wisdom hurts

Wisdom hurts

Im sitting here sulking. It is so painful. My wisdom tooth is finally showing. I can see a quater of teeth forming at the back of my jaw. It is so painful!!! Does this mean I am wiser? So being wise hurts huh? ouch.... snif* sob*snif* ;(

worst time to go get wiser during my exams, the pain...oh well... this is life!

Im Wiser not older...hehehe...

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

To water

To water

O water! Thou art deceiving
from your gentle flow
to the streams of your undying
existance thats fights tomorrow.

I stand, and you cover my body
with your clean, mineralised, firm hands
hands that work its way
from my head downwards-where it lands

at my feet, now cold
with your presence, so alive.
You are clean, but you mold
fresh stains that in me dive

deceiveing me into believing
how pure and chaste you are.
The word goes, "shower, its relaxing"
yet it brings much affair.

I wonder how you always
deceive me into believing
that alls fine, and my ways
are good in absorbing

isolated coldness, bringing sorrow
yet no matter how much you stain me
I will return to you tomorrow
to be decieved again- but thats how it is.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Making my stationary purple

Making my stationary purple

I bought new stationary today. 3 stabilo medium tip ball pens (which after buying is dismantled and the inside of it is placed into a purple stabilo fine tip ball pen casing), a ruler (which after buying I would colour purple with a permanent marker pen), an eraser (not purple, just plain white), a note pad (purple cover) and a pilot shaker mechanical pencil (also purple).

All this minor adjustment done to my stationary serves to live up my purple social standing. My entire pencil box is purple with a few neutral colours which cannot be avoided. It is rather a waste of time, people say, as only today I realized, that everytime I buy new stationary it would be right before an exam. Yup, my exams start this Thursday, and I am sitting and colouring my ruler purple.

Ironic, I never buy new stationary unless there is an upcoming exam, and I spend so much time making minor adjustments just so it suits me. Just a weird lil thing I like to do. It relieves stress.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Scared with pain

Scared with pain

I do not want to recall it. The moment, so painful, which scared me for life. How she cried for help, and I stood helplessly, watching the car go up in flames. My heart just broke. She was everything to me, my cotton candy buddy, my shoulder to cry on, my inspiration, my best friend... But now she is gone. Nothing of her remains, nothing except that hollow cry for help, her very last cry. The thought just haunts.

Why should I have to go through this much pain again? Can you not sympathise with me? I do not want to hear your last cry, not now, not while you are still so young, so alive, so you... You mean the world to me, do I not mean something to you, that you can still do that, still chip of a bit of my heart each time you do this.

Please... Do not let me go through this much pain again. That is all I ask from you.

Thursday, May 12, 2005




You have a date!!!
I thought we are going together, all single?

You know I cant take a date..
It will be wrong, not fair to him.

I have to take someone!!
I am going single!!!
but i'll be alone...

Do you have to do this to me?


He wants to take me?
Where did you hear this?

Oh my gosh!

(the author is a little confused as to whether she should go single to the a levels ball. Mindless... she has gotta focus on her exams now!)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Between two

Between two

She likes him and he, he likes her too. Is it fair for anyone to stop them from liking each other? Who are we to say who she is meant to go out with, or allowed to date, or just have heaps of fun with? This bond is between the two of them not the whole world. So why are they those who cry a tear not knowing what to do next, and those hot heads trying to melt away this bond? From her speech, we know she loves him. Yet, she is forced to sacrifice something. True love, or real happiness?

The thought of this just saddens me, as I wish I could do something. I guess, in the end its between the two of them.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The meadow

The meadow

As I sank into the meadow
I felt the weather change
and suddenly all temperature decreases
in the middle of the avenue
What a wonderful feeling it was
to be loitering around tall foggy grass
feeling the ground where only the pollution of the morning due lay.
I could hear wind roaring strongly
blowing with all might.
I could hear the song of the forest,
tickling my eardrum with delight.
it was like the angel of nature,
just flew by
bringing times of good in life.
I could only see half of the meadow,
as the rest were covered with haze
it was like clouds, the sky,
the blue and white.
Green is the lush meadow...Green soft and cool.
A patch of the desert awaits me in the centre of the meadow
Yet, here the grass is cool and the air is moist.
Small beads of sweat for on my brow
I walk slowly, searching for something...
The cool breeze relieves my desperate search...
Reminding me of the past.
Reminding me of the nights of passion.
Reminding me of the evenings of laughter.

(I wrote this poem with an old friend, Rudhra in 2001, and a dream brought it back)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Dr Love

Dr Love

This past week has just been filled with loads of conflicts in love and relationships. Today I play the role of Dr Love. Dr Love who is running short on remedies. Never had to deal with these many problems before. Let me share some situations with you.

Problem 1: Ahmad really likes Rachel, and having some hints from close friends that she liked him, made the effort to confess this to her. Having done so, she turns him down saying she liked someone else. Ahmed now feels confused and hurt, and afraid of what would happen if this mysterious other person happened to be his friend. He may have to exile himself from the group to 'save face'.

Problem 2: Jasmine has been dreaming of her dream guy Pradeep, waiting patiently that some day he would ask her out, often day-dreaming of him. One day she hears rumours from various people about Pradeep, advising her to keep away from him. Now Pradeep goes and asks her out to the upcoming ball. In a daze she says yes, but is not sure after hearing all these rumours. This is her dream guy, could he be so bad after all?

Problem 3: Sameer falls madly in love with Jasminder, who comes from a pure punjabi family who values traditions like a goddess. Sameer says he has never felt so much in love before. After only a few days of sneaking behind her parents back, going out, her mum comes to know about it, and threatens to tell her friend Carry's mum about Carry's relationship with her boyfriend Paul who is also kept in secret if Jasminder refuses to break up with Sameer. Jasminder and Carry are best friends.

Problem 4: Steve and Kelly have been going out for 5 years. One day Kelly walks in on Steve kissing Dave, his soccer buddy. Kelly is wondering if that meant her relationship is over, or could Steve just be foolin around?

Problems, many for a week. There are 7 other problems might I conclude. Although these are the striking ones. Never have I played Dr Love before, and this is starting to be alot of fun although the doctor is running short on remedies. Feel free to assist Dr Love on any of this problems. She needs your help! So start studying on medical love...

(names have been altered to prevent conflicts and protect each individuals reputation)