Saturday, December 16, 2006

Art of the silent drum

Art of the silent drum

My head is thumping.
I feel the adrenaline rush.

A mixed feeling of foolishness, and happiness.

They treat me like a gem,
why did I ever step on their polished shoes?
or say that they had piled up issues?

Now I feel like an empty tin can,
empty vessels make more noise.
why cant, I sit and learn the art of the silent drum,
and live my life with more dignity and grace?

Wind silently speaks,
and hushes the thumping.

hush hush....
time to sleep.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Love and loss

Love and loss

Last night was a very painful night. Something happened, and I realised there really is no such thing as fairy tale relationship. You can believe all you want, but then one day reality strikes and you find your prince charming turned into an ugly old frog, the evil witch puts curse on you, and will probably rule the world at the end of the story. No more happy endings.

I want to share two things with all my readers.

First is the song "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel.
This song, is so sweet, yet it is no fairy tale. Its a reality check.Those of you who undestand the words to this song, you should love someone this way, not by the "book of love".

I love this song. It is also played in Shall We Dance.

-The Book of Love-
by Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I, I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I, I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings


Second is the poem "One Art" written by Elizabeth Bishop.
This is a poem about loss, and how to deal with it. I like the way she writes, and I agree with her.

-One Art-
by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

I hope all of you who are reading this can learn something from it. Even if you dont, life is full experiences, it will teach you at the right time.
Keep loving, and keep it real.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Breathless at 3 am

Breathless at 3 am

This morning, I woke up with a really bad asthma attack. It felt like I was fighting to live. I was wheezing so heavily, and my chest felt so tight. I could hardly think straight. I have not had this bad of an attack since I was 12 years old. My mother rushed me to Pantai, so she could get me on a nebulizer fast so I can breathe.

Lucky for me, Pantai's emergency ward was empty, so I was attended to as soon as I got there. After taking my blood pressure, I was quickly given the nebulizer. While I lay there, breathing through the nebulizer, I was reminded of how scared I used to get when I had attack. This was when I was a child, and did not know any better. I used to be so worried that I would not survive. That I would stop breathing before any help was given to me. Everytime I had an attack I used to think I was a step closer to death, or like a cat, was a losing my nine lives so easily.

Asthma can be a really scary thing especially if you know very little about it. Apparently it is impossible for an asthmatic to die of an asthama attack today, because once just a litte medicine has gone into your body, you are protected. There is not a single small risk of you dying once this happens. You might suffer quite a bit due to difficulties breathing, but you wont die. Now thats a real relief. I still wonder, how they can guarantee you that your life is protected with heavy dosed drugs. Guess that might be a reason why, I never stepped into the science stream. Science is about proof, but I believe in exceptions.

Well anyways, I should get some rest now. Will keep you guys posted with my quiries of life and the things that happen around me. Thank you for bookmarking my blog.