Once upon a time, you used to smile....

Once upon a time, you used to smile.
Everytime...

Everytime you saw me,
You would have a glow in your face;
like a fresh light bulb telling the world it exists.
Everytime...

Everytime you spoke to me,
You would grin from ear to ear,
while your eyes watched me admiringly;
as if I were an object of perfection,
and as if we were having the perfect conversation.

Everytime you touched me,
My nerves would tremble,
My thoughts go blank,
and I am lost in your world;
Everytime...

Everytime you kissed me,
you made me feel like you wanted me,
that you needed me,
while butterflies kicked inside of me,
Everytime.
I secretly wanted you too...

Everytime I squelled at something cute,
you would quietly let out a laugh,
that told me that you adored me;
like a new kitten that you would wanna keep...

Everytime you hugged me,
I felt a sense of belonging,
and I just want to stay in your arms;
In you arms, I feel safe...

Everytime you said you loved me,
I knew you meant it.
and how I wish you knew,
that I was feeling the same way about you.
Everytime...

Once upon a time, you used to smile,
Everytime...

Now, its different.
Everytime, is once upon a time.

Everytime you see me,
It feels like Im just an obligation,
an obligation that you are forced to please.

Everytime you speak to me,
It feels like you are tired of talking,
then we slowly start arguing,
both of us like bad lawyers,
trying to prove a pointless case...

Everytime you touch me,
you want more of me,
like a simple touch on the hand would mean nothing.
You would need so much of me,
to feel me...

Everytime you kiss me,
its like you want to be in a moment,
a moment that I just cant feel anymore...

When I squelled at something cute,
you told me to grow up,
as if it was something you always hated in me.

Everytime I say I love you,
I wonder if you even hear me;
When I say I need you,
I wonder if you believe me;

Everytime, everytime...

Once upon a time, you used to smile,
Everytime...

Excited

Hello Bloggers...

I apologise for not posting anything for the past 8 months. Truth is I just haven't been inspired. It's probably due to the stress of final exams which was in June.

I have completed Year 2 of my law degree at HELP University. Now I am off to the University of Liverpool, UK, for my final year. I leave on September 13th, so friends, come chill with me before I leave.

While waiting for my results, I took part in a Mooting Competition with my partner, Christine Ellis. We put in alot of effort in to win this competition, and we did. We won a months internship with Messrs Skrine & Co (biggest law firm in Msia), RM 500 each, invidual trophies, and names on the Rolling trophy.

After the Mooting Competition, I did a 3 week attachment at Messrs Bodipalar Ponnudurai Nathan, advocates, and solicitors (BPN). My master here was Mr Anand Ponnudurai, himself. He is a well known lawyer who specializes in Industrial Relations, which is the area of law I want to major in. My stint at BPN was the best attachment ever. I learnt so much, I was treated with respect, given challenging work to do, and the people at BPN were just the friendliest bunch of people I have ever met. BPN rocks!

At this moment, I am doing the one month attachment I won with Skrine. I've only been there for 3 days. Thus I shall reserve my comments for a later date.

I am so excited about going to UK. So many preps, ie. things to get, people to catch up with, certs to pick up, organise finances,etc.

I just ordered a dell laptop. It's Red in colour!!

I got new sports shoes, and court shoes too!!

hmmmm.... so many more thigns to get.

Will keep you guys updated with more posts.

Thanks for reading my blog!

Love you guys so much!!!

Art of the silent drum

Art of the silent drum

My head is thumping.
I feel the adrenaline rush.
A mixed feeling of foolishness, and happiness.

They treat me like a gem,
why did I ever step on their polished shoes?
or say that they had piled up issues?

Now I feel like an empty tin can,
empty vessels make more noise.
why cant, I sit and learn the art of the silent drum,
and live my life with more dignity and grace?

Wind silently speaks,
and hushes the thumping.

hush hush....
time to sleep.

Love and loss

Love and loss

Last night was a very painful night. Something happened, and I realised there really is no such thing as fairy tale relationship. You can believe all you want, but then one day reality strikes and you find your prince charming turned into an ugly old frog, the evil witch puts curse on you, and will probably rule the world at the end of the story. No more happy endings.

I want to share two things with all my readers.

First is the song "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel.
This song, is so sweet, yet it is no fairy tale. Its a reality check.Those of you who undestand the words to this song, you should love someone this way, not by the "book of love".

I love this song. It is also played in Shall We Dance.

-The Book of Love-
by Peter Gabriel

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I, I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I, I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

-end-

Second is the poem "One Art" written by Elizabeth Bishop.
This is a poem about loss, and how to deal with it. I like the way she writes, and I agree with her.

-One Art-
by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-end-

I hope all of you who are reading this can learn something from it. Even if you dont, life is full experiences, it will teach you at the right time.
Keep loving, and keep it real.

Breathless at 3 am

Breathless at 3 am

This morning, I woke up with a really bad asthma attack. It felt like I was fighting to live. I was wheezing so heavily, and my chest felt so tight. I could hardly think straight. I have not had this bad of an attack since I was 12 years old. My mother rushed me to Pantai, so she could get me on a nebulizer fast so I can breathe.

Lucky for me, Pantai's emergency ward was empty, so I was attended to as soon as I got there. After taking my blood pressure, I was quickly given the nebulizer. While I lay there, breathing through the nebulizer, I was reminded of how scared I used to get when I had attack. This was when I was a child, and did not know any better. I used to be so worried that I would not survive. That I would stop breathing before any help was given to me. Everytime I had an attack I used to think I was a step closer to death, or like a cat, was a losing my nine lives so easily.

Asthma can be a really scary thing especially if you know very little about it. Apparently it is impossible for an asthmatic to die of an asthama attack today, because once just a litte medicine has gone into your body, you are protected. There is not a single small risk of you dying once this happens. You might suffer quite a bit due to difficulties breathing, but you wont die. Now thats a real relief. I still wonder, how they can guarantee you that your life is protected with heavy dosed drugs. Guess that might be a reason why, I never stepped into the science stream. Science is about proof, but I believe in exceptions.

Well anyways, I should get some rest now. Will keep you guys posted with my quiries of life and the things that happen around me. Thank you for bookmarking my blog.

The power of contacts

The power of contacts

It is amazing what you can achieve with contacts. You could get away with murder by just knowing the right people. In a working environment, being in the good books of your boss, actually has many advantages. On the negative end, it really annoys others who are just doing their job the right way(which is the harder way).

The truth is, when you have contacts like that, people just hate you. You could look at it as if it were jealousy. In my working environment I learnt that although people bitch about the person who sucks up to the boss, that person actually benefits more. Personally I hate the next person who polishes the boss' shoe, but if you look at it in a wider perspective, you find that, its life. That's how this world operates. They always say study smart not hard. It works the same way with work I guess. Work smart not hard. Suprisingly it actually takes you to the top.

A little inside on my situation at work. The boss they all bitch about who is such a big suck up, always get a phone call 10 minutes before the district manager plans to walk in for a "surprise checklist". That gives us more than enough time, to make sure everything is in order, expiry dates are checked and updated, and the outlet is sparkling. In the end of the day, the suck up gets promoted right to the top, with a better job, and a higher paying salary. Leaving the rest of us, hardworkers, frustrated at how easily it was for the suck up to climb the ladder.

Guess that's life though. You got to want to get to the top, and play your role smart, not hard. No I am not encouraging anyone to suck up to their boss, but merely stating a point that you only get places when you know the right people.

The next time, you get a chance to meet some new people. Take that opportunity, you never know what they could do for you. Haha. Sounds like using people.

Well, that's life, be smart! Get used it!

Sexy smell of the air

Sexy smell of the air

I love damp smell of the air once the rain has stopped.
It is unique, and sensual.

It is bad for hair texture, as it makes hair dry,
but yet the smell is so attractive.
Makes me feel so sexy, and confident,
ready to take on life's challenge,
like there is no one in the world to compete with,
but me...

At the end of a day,
I just want to lay back,
close my eyes,
and smell the damp air.

It is a cosy feeling.
and also stress free...